Convoluted self-flagellation

I cheated.

Some of you are probably reading that statement and already breaking out the judgement batons. Before you start lighting the retarded fires of Internet flame-wars, hear me out.

I made a promise; not quite a vow, as I’m far less dedicated than that, but a simple promise. Something I thought even someone like me, with my tendency to be all over the map emotionally and mentally, could at least pretend to adhere to. Either the sticky-paper of my resolve was weak-sauce, or I’m just better at apologizing than I am at reasoning in advance.

Who did I really hurt, honestly? I guess I’d have to stop being vague and indefinite so you can finally roll your eyes and punch me in the blog for leading you on like this.

There was…we…I…I didn’t post anything to this place last week.

There, I said it.

It wasn’t an easy decision. Wait, strike that. It was one of the easiest decisions I’d made in a while. I simply let The Lazy whisper to me that video games, movies on the couch and naps were a better use of my time than forcing myself to come up with something entertaining to shove into your eyeholes.

And honestly? The inspiration usually pimp-slaps me about mid-way through the week. A co-worker will make some ridiculous statement that sparks a mental fire in me, or I’ll remember something from my childhood that is mildly alarming or entertaining, or I’ll simply pull an idea out of the things you people write and try to run with that.

Last week, the only things I had scrabbling around in my head squeaking for attention were rants about the kinds of things that attract rabid readers ready for a fight, and that’s not what I want for this place…at the moment. Maybe when I get desperate enough for readers, I’ll drop an ignorant rant or two and see who comes charging forward to split my skull with their knowledge axe.

Once again, I faced the uncomfortable feeling that forcing myself to write would only result in something like this current guilt-piece, a tick-mark on my mental checklist that really lacks the spark of something truly entertaining. Last week, I let The Lazy sweet-talk my burgeoning guilt into taking a break, and this is the result.

For those of you who kindly inhabit this place, whether of your own designs, or my constant begging for you to feed my ego by visiting, know that I do actually have more fun and entertaining stories to share…once I wrestle The Lazy into submission. Or take a nap, whichever concept makes the best sales pitch.

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