Teeth Torquemada

I’m sure that, in their personal lives, dentists are warm, caring and peaceful beasts. They’d have to be to offset that whole Spanish Toothquisition thing they’ve got going on at work, right?

You’re not doing anything right with your mouthtal region! How often do you brush?

Well, I-

Silence! When was the last time you flossed?

Just this-

SILENCE!! Now, let me jam these miniature medieval weapons in your gums so I can tell you they’re bleeding.

Typically, nothing is ever good enough for these people. Tell them anything you want, true or fabricated to make you look like you care enough about your teeth to marry them, it doesn’t matter, you’re still guilty of crimes of the oral…hygiene. Typically.

My new dentist hasn’t started in on me with the crippling guilt and whimper-inducing stabbing yet, but I have high hopes that he’s a patient sympathizer. He’s encouraging, positive and responsive to my speculations that dentistry might be better served by finding the genetic triggers that tell our bodies to create new teeth. It’s my favorite pain stalling tactic.

Aside from the fact that one of my tires blew out at speed on the way to the appointment, I think can count today as a qualified success. It’s quite possible I stumbled upon the fabled Dental Revolution…though they do want me to return for further dental questioning.

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7 Comments on “Teeth Torquemada”

  1. Meg Says:

    Im pretty sure Dentists have to pass a sadist exam to get their license.

  2. dumblogger Says:

    teeth are definitely the design fault of the human body, they should just grow endlessly so we could file off the bad bits 🙂

    • renpiti Says:

      I’d be afraid that my typical approach to weekend hygiene (shaving) would lead to a series of sleeping puncture wounds to my mouth, tongue and pillow.

  3. atiniir Says:

    Personally I’m hoping for a pharmacological solution like http://medicalxpress.com/news/2011-11-mouthwash-cavities.html

  4. Mah-Jong Says:

    I would much rather go to the dentist than a gynecologist.


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