Prepailure to launch

Traveling with me can be as challenging as pulling gelatin cubes out of a glass bowl with your toes. I like to take everything, and nothing, when I travel. That makes for some interesting packing decisions. Here’s the list for our current journey:

– two fully charged cameras for me to whine about having, and later tout as the best idea I’ve ever had

– several intriguing looking books to make fellow travelers curious enough to ask me questions

– practiced scowl and recently shaved head to discourage those same curious travelers from asking me anything…ever

– set of lock picks, in case I want to spend my trip with TSA instead of with my girlfriend

– belly filled to overflowing with water to combat what I call ‘traffic jam on highway 2’

– something medicinal to prepare for what I’ve come to know (intimately) as the South American Waterslide, the absolute antithesis of the previously mentioned traffic jam

– a ‘rewards’ card from a popular purveyor of hot beverages, in case this place happens to carry my brand of caffeine(crack)

– a few articles of clothing, to ensure I’m not arrested leaving my house

– a surprisingly open heart and mind

I probably left out a few things, like infrequent bad breath and occasional hoots from the ol’ methane horn, but you get the general gist…or colonel gist, your choice.

There may or may not be occasional updates as the trip unspools in front of me, depending on how much animosity I draw for choosing technology over my lovely travel partner. I will, however, be sure to return with a much-embellished tale of how awesome I am when traveling abroad without extensive knowledge of the native languages spoken where I’m going.

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One Comment on “Prepailure to launch”

  1. Dad Says:

    I have found that “Dos Cervesas por favor” works pretty well in Latin American countries. That and “No yo intiendo; soy Gringo!” Looking and acting like a narco-gangster also helps. Good luck, Amigo.

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