Scat(tered)

***I was informed by the Supreme Commander of Travel that I left out our trip to Thailand in my last post…I’m in the time-out corner if anyone needs me.***

It’s so easy for me to get distracted. From the time I wrote that ticking bomb of an intro above until now, I deviated from today’s course no less than 15 times; once to tell a visiting stranger in my office that my name was Patrick MacDoogleshins while showing her my badge. She was underwhelmed. Hey, 1-person inside jokes are the spice of life…or a one-way visit to a locking canvas smock. The point is, I’m scattered today. Join me, won’t you?

First off, I’d like to blame everyone who writes a witty blog article I happen to find when I’m shirking my own writing. Shame on you for pitting me against myself with your funny lists, and your witty rants. It’s not helping me stay focused on…whatever it was I had planned on writing today.

Maybe it’s the fact that I’m leaving for Middle America (nestled between North and South America) tomorrow for my birthday weekend; maybe it’s the fact that my father seems to have taken too many spills in his canoe to remember he hasn’t missed my birthday yet; or maybe it’s all of you (yes, YOU) blathering on about what level of Hell this country will fall to/rise from as a result of this most recent, and expensive, popularity contest. I don’t know. What I do know is that I haven’t packed yet and I’m going to be in big trouble when I refuse to pack tonight in lieu of video games or re-runs of the X-Files. Just because I don’t look like a kid doesn’t mean I can’t pout and procrastinate like one.

Some of you have suggested I spice my posts up with pictures (and by some of you, I mean nobody). I seriously hate looking like a tourist when I’m traveling abroad, though there are few places where a bald head and trimmed goatee look native outside of planet The South. Many an angst-ridden ride to/from destinations on our travels have been as a direct result of my unreasoning desire to not do what everyone else does when they travel: take mother-effing-pictures! Well, not that specific subject matter, of course, but you get the idea. So we return from these adventures with a few forced-smile poses from both of us, and a few landscape/scenery shots. That changes this trip, or I’m likely to come back needing reconstructive surgery in my The Nethers.

Don’t get me wrong, we’ve got plenty of pictures from most places we go…just usually not ones of anything pertaining to the stories we force our friends and family members to listen to upon our return. A notable exception is the picture a Thai local took of us on the sly with a rock formation in the background that made me look like I had ginormous junk (sigh). Even though it’s my birthday, I’m guessing I’ll make some concessions (that I’ll be held rigidly to once she reads this) for this journey. Next year, though, I’m staying home naked and playing Assassin’s Creed 17: The Hunt for a Plot.

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2 Comments on “Scat(tered)”

  1. Dad Says:

    Okay, okay! So I didn’t forget your birthday; I just forgot it’s on Saturday. So sue me. And, btw (I’m catching on to the online lingo), shaved heads and trimmed goatees are really big in Eastern Europe and the Balkans (along with leather trench coats –hmmm, great idea for your present). Hey, when I asked you to take plenty of pics on your Costa Rican adventure, I was just being polite (read “Ran out of meaningful stuff to say”). Now I’m gonna load up on Cutty Sark and try to erase the picture of you sitting naked while playing video games. Thanks a lot.


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