Agree to disagree my way

What makes great visual entertainment? Is it boobies? Beefcake? Sure, that helps. Can it carry an entire show or film? If you have the mentality of a nine year old boy, yes. At that level, you don’t care much about what should snag that multi-pronged hook in your cheek and reel you in; you just want to raise your blood pressure and dream of pants a few sizes larger. On an early-derailing side note, I don’t think the garment industry takes adolescent boners seriously enough. Pants that fit don’t always fit there from minute to minute, especially when your body decides it’s time for a random salute.

Moving on.

Are action and violence the drug that keeps us coming back for more? With the current wave of septuagenarian-dreams-of-former-glory movies, you’d think, “Sure, that’s what grabs people’s parts and tugs them along: guns, explosions and famous last words.” But you’d be (mostly) wrong. It’s story…and character interaction. There’s only so much “here’s a knife in the face with a witty one-liner for you to enjoy” that you can take before you start to feel like there’s something missing, whether you are aware of it or not. It’s the story/character driven tales that capture and hold us best. Is the appeal of a given project based solely on pseudo-intellectuals like myself picking them apart to tell you why they suck or rock? Nope. That sort of thing is as difficult to gauge, person to person, as what kinds of things we’d allow in our various orifices. I mean, would we have not one but two “Expendables” movies if intricately woven, well thought out stories were the only appealing projects?

I have to take a moment, as an entertainment industry wanna-be, to say that no matter how much any project (film, television, Internet) appears to someone to have the appeal of a skunk’s-ass dinner, at least two other important things are true: 1) someone else liked it, and 2) it was likely a lot of fun to film. Let’s not forget that jobs were created and people were gainfully employed doing something other than smearing your windshield with a dirty newspaper. Basically, you might think a project licks the deepest depths of a Grateful Dead port-a-potty, but someone else thinks it’s double-rainbow all the way. And that’s okay.

Since I’ve effectively disclaimered myself out of any responsibility for our disagreements on what movies and television shows are worth our respective couch-to-ass bonding time, let’s see where I can shine a little light on some projects I think you might enjoy more than a spiked bat in the behindus. Remember, just because you think it stinks doesn’t mean you aren’t wrong. And vice versa, or something.

Let’s jump right in with a highly popular show right now, The Walking Dead. I know what you’re saying (if you aren’t already totally enraptured by this show), “It’s another zompacalypse story.” Okay, but it’s one that makes you care about who lives and who takes the gory dirt nap. If you find yourself going all barbarian, calling for the extraction of vital innards of a character in a show, you care. That’s the hook I’m talking about. You’ll watch to see someone get that gooey justice you feel they deserve; you’ll also watch and hope that one or more of the characters doesn’t end up as a gut-buffet for stumbulatory gourmand corpses. You’ll also be able to identify with one or more of them as they aren’t the gorgeous. They’re gritty, grimy, gross people, just like you.

It just dawned on me: zombie stories always detail heavy eating on the part of the undead, but never on where that “food” goes once ingested. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone in those stories squish down on steaming pile of undead BM. Hmm.

The Walking Dead delivers the kind of soap opera-y goodness that anyone who has braved the (barely) human tides out maniacally trampling each other down during the annual shopping migrations can appreciate. Yes, it’s zombies, and yes it’s the end of Wally-world/Google convenience; it’s also a peek into who or what surviving humanity can become with a larger problem than “I don’t like your hue/politics” to focus on, and no Big Brother to tell those survivors what actions deserve a spanking. I’m telling you, you ride the emotional roller-caster with this cast and you will vomit…in a good way.

Next up, which I’ll likely be required to hand in my dude-card for, is Revenge. It’s daytime T.V. meets the Bourne Housewife…if they ever get around to making that movie. The basic premise is that a man was framed in the past for something rich bastards did, and dies in prison because of it all. Ah, but not before squirreling away his secret journals with a different rich bastard to later pass on to his daughter for the purposes of NOT avenging her fatherOkay, sure. Just show little miss juvenile detention how the elitist bastards her father trusted sold him out to cover their own exquisitely pampered asses and expect her to smile and pop another diet beer with her teeth. Needless to say, she’s bent on making sure the entire cabal of conspirators eats an entire duffel bag of runny dog dirt…each. Did I mention she trained with a ninja and is insanely rich because her dad invested in a technology company he then left to her after Shanking Day? The show is engaging and exciting, plus there’s violence and a side-boob or two. Trifecta!

There are a few more shows and movies I’m enamored enough with to wrangle into my posts here, but it’s Monday and reading-induced comas are not hard to come by. I’ll gladly (and by gladly, I really mean reluctantly) take a peek at anything you care to suggest, but beware: my tongue (fingers) is sharp when I don’t like something, so think carefully before setting this hound on your scent. Just kidding, I don’t have the stones to call you out anonymously online.

Happy day of the week!

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3 Comments on “Agree to disagree my way”

  1. Katie Says:

    Right there with you. I started streaming The Walking Dead while Justin was deployed a couple of years ago, thinking it would be undistracting “background noise” while I perused the web and did other important things. SIX episodes later, I was fully hooked and fully freaked out. That was the night I finally ordered curtains for my kitchen windows.

    And Revenge? That chick is totally badass. Season 2 is a little slow, but I suppose she can’t continue at the pace of taking a bad guy down *every* episode or they’d run out of heinous characters.

    • renpiti Says:

      I just finished season 1 of Revenge, but I imagined it would have to slow down a little if they intended to last more than one more season.

      If you’re into quirky, goofy sci-fi (and I know at least 1/2 of your homestead is), try Warehouse 13 on the ‘flix. It’s like an X-Files that doesn’t take itself very seriously…and doesn’t have anything to do with aliens or UFOs.

  2. Dad Says:

    Sorry, but I still haven’t finished the first season cd of “Battlestar Gallactica” — haven’t gotten around to the “Dexter” cd either. My tastes in tv are retro. Like right now I’m hooked on all the reruns of “Remington Steele” on ME tv. My other favorite show is “Monk” (all reruns, too) because (I think) he is annoying enough to blot out all the annoyingly gratuitous night soil we have to endure, especially during the political season. I guess I’m slipping into terminal crotchety-ness, eh Sonny?


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