Wait, what?

Brainfart. That’s what I should have called this place, as it already has me pulling out my satchel-hair trying to figure out what to write. Who knew that just coming up with a name would have the power to stop time and my brain simultaneously? When you write for yourself, it tends to be easy: you map out the list of people who will pay, you bemoan the lack of riches, bitches and glory life isn’t drowning you in and you swear you’ll change all that. It’s not the same when writing for an audience. Those kinds of warning bells ring loud out across the ether(net) and will get you a nice cozy onesie with locking sleeves. So you ponder…and stall…and distract yourself with every teensy, tiny thing of zero significance you possibly can to delay coming up with something someone else you may not even know might find entertaining. Welcome to my now.

This place will be where I’ll offend, bore and possibly berate you, all in the name of amusement. Largely mine, of course. I don’t expect anyone to believe me, follow me or otherwise march to my tune. I just want someplace to make an anonymous ass out of myself from time to time, or, if you know me, let you see how effed up my brain can be at times. I’ll tell you right now that I don’t care what you think, but we know that’s a lie…a sexy, sexy lie. I care, I’ll just try to keep you in the dark as to when.

If you don’t know me personally, and are curious as to who hides behind this dichotomy of self-denigration and pompous self-absorption, here’s a brief bio:

  • Born in Maryland, but grew up in southern California (which I still call home to this day even though I haven’t lived there in over 20 years).
  • Joined the military to escape what every teen sees as the end of the world in a family that “just doesn’t understand me”.
  • Decided that the military was full of morons determined to drag me into their mental abyss and found an honorable discharge with severance pay after 10 years.
  • Was married, but got inoculated (now have a loving relationship without the governmental and religious bondage).
  • Engage in the self-esteem eroding profession of acting (part time).
  • Work as a full-time network engineer (but in the words of Randall from “Clerks”, BADLY).
  • Love to travel with my girlfriend (to places where people don’t know how screwed up I am at first).

That’s enough to choke on for now. While I tend to think my particular wit is best applied at the 1-2 sentences every other week, I think I’ll start flexing my word-nuts a bit and see what happens. Maybe nothing, but maybe something awesome.

– McDuck

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2 Comments on “Wait, what?”

  1. Rachel Camp Says:

    I may never know if this is one of the times you care, but I like it! 😉

  2. Harry Parrish Says:

    Colonel Parrish approves.

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